Five Reasons You Should Stop Thinking of Singleness as a Season

Summer is my absolute favorite season and I’m mourning its passing this week. I love everything about it- long nights, bright flowers, sunny afternoons at the beach, birds chirping early in the morning, almost unlimited opportunities to be outside, even the heat. I love it all! It just makes me feel good.

I like fall, too. Fall in northeast Ohio can be beautiful. In the fall there’s apple-picking, clear blue skies, and crisp temperatures. And of course, there’s nothing like a group of kindergartners trooping in from recess shedding leaves as they go.

I’ve said it before- Ohio doesn’t have the greatest reputation as far as travel and tourism go, but it’s really not a bad spot. Three out of four seasons are pretty nice (winter doesn’t bear mentioning). Living in a place that lets you fully experience all four seasons is great.

The best part is, if you don’t like one season, just wait. It’ll change.

We have seasons in life, too. You’re a child for a season, a student for a season. We walk through seasons of sickness or health, prosperity or poverty. For some, certain seasons last longer than others.

With seasons, though, one fact never varies.

They always change.

Stop viewing singleness as a season

People often refer to singleness as a season, but I think this is misleading. I would argue that we shouldn’t encourage women, young women in particular, to only think of singleness as a season. This type of thinking leads us to a clouded view of our lives.

Five Reasons We Shouldn’t View Singleness as a Season

  • It puts us in an expectant mindset for something that may never happen.

When we talk about being single for a season we set up the expectation that life’s going to change. In other words, “This is my life right now, and it stinks, but I can get through it because things are going to be different in the future.”  Women with this mindset are putting their hope in a maybe, not a certainty.  

  • Looking forward to tomorrow makes us forget about today.

We can spend so much time dreaming about what might lie ahead we forget to live right where we are. You are single TODAY for a purpose.  Stop thinking about what might be someday and find ways to live and serve in the life you already have.

  • It gives the impression that being married is preferable to being single.

So many times, older women have patted my hand and said, “Don’t worry. The right one is out there.” Others say, “You’ll be such a great wife/ mom someday.” What does that do to you when you hear someone say that? I know what it does to me. It cuts down the life I have right now and tells me that my single life is lacking. Even though I know that isn’t true, comments like that have a powerful effect on me. If I’m not careful I’ll start wanting my single life to change into something “better.”

  • We tend to put off doing things until we’re married.

How often to you find yourself saying, “I’ll do that when I get married.”  Buying a house, going back to school, changing careers, volunteering, travelling, trying new things- what are you waiting for? If you view singleness as a season, you might just keep waiting. And waiting.

  • It’s a failure to see God’s best for us today

All we’re promised is today. It’s human nature to dream and plan for the tomorrows, but that can rob us of joy and satisfaction right now. Rather than viewing singleness as something to endure until “happily ever after” comes along, live and celebrate right where you are. Rejoice in what God’s doing right now, not what He may do in the future.

Singleness isn’t necessarily a season. Seasons change. Your marital status may not. Start to change your thinking and let that be ok. 

I spend all my time
Dreaming what the future’s gonna bring
When all of this time
There’s a world passing by right in front of me
Set my sights on tomorrow
While I’m tripping over today

Who says big things
Are somewhere off in the distance
I don’t want to look back
Just to see all the times that I missed it
I want to be here and now
Starting right here, right now

With the very next words of love to be spoken
To the very next heart that’s shattered and broken
To the very next way you’re gonna use me
Show me the next thing
I’ll do the next thing

Let my very next breath
Breathe out a song of praise to you
With my very next step
Be on a road that was planned by you
Lord, wherever you’re leading me
That’s where I want to be

-Mark Hall

“The Very Next Thing”

This week I’m thankful for the changing seasons. While most things in life change, God never does. He is always in control of our lives and we can trust Him. Together, let’s celebrate every SINGLE blessing!

One Reply to “Five Reasons You Should Stop Thinking of Singleness as a Season”

  1. Interesting idea—I never thought about it before. I say I am in a season of singleness, but I realize it may not change. I await God’s plan for me, whatever that might be. I know it will be the best for me, whether married or single.

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