Singleness is often treated with sorrow or sympathy. People usually respond with surprise, saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re not dating someone.”
After that, they attempt to set me up on blind dates or make suggestions regarding online dating sites.
If all else fails, they remind me that God will send the right man at exactly the right time. I just have to be patient.
While all of these sentiments are well-meant, they’re not helpful. Or true, for that matter. These statements aren’t what single women need to hear.
Even better than that, these statements don’t actually reflect my life.
I know that married people, especially those who have been married for a long time, often struggle to understand what single life is like. If they’re in happy marriages, they naturally want the same thing for me.
But I don’t have to be married to have a happy and fulfilling life.
God is Good all the Time
Last week I had a conversation that helped me see things differently. A friend and I were talking about the challenges some of our married friends were facing, and how fortunate we were not to have to walk those same paths.
That led to us discussing the ways we had seen God work in our own lives. Neither of us is married, but that doesn’t mean He hasn’t shown up for us again and again.
We both agreed- Our stories show us, and you, that God is always good.
How do I know God is always good?
Let me share a few examples with you:
- God lets me be the fun aunt
Last Friday night I attempted to sleep on a cramped couch in a stuffy living room. My tenuous grip on sleep was interrupted by my five-year-old niece, whispering frantically that she was “Sinking. Really sinking!”
Her air mattress had a hole in it. A hole that my brother-in-law assured me she wouldn’t notice.
As I groggily blew up the air mattress again, at 2:30 in the morning, I managed to be grateful even in my sleepless state.
I am so, so thankful for the two little girls sleeping (sort of) in the living room with me. I love our sleepovers, our “dates,” and all the crazy times we spend together. I’m equally thankful for the four other little people who hold a special place in my life.
Being the fun aunt is one of my favorite things. I don’t have children, but that DOES NOT mean I don’t know what it’s like to love a child.
God has given that gift to me.
- God meets all my needs
My friend and I were marveling at this last week. Neither one of us works in high-paying jobs, but we’ve never gone without, either. My needs, and many of my wants, have always been met.
There have been times when I’ve seen God work in amazing ways. He provides miracles, sometimes before I’ve even thought to ask for them. He is our Good Father, and He truly delights in giving us good things.
Even in the times when God doesn’t work the way I would want Him to, I know He’s still good and I can always trust Him.
- God gives me my own unique opportunities
There are so many good things in my life! I don’t have to be married to say that. And you don’t have to feel sorry for me because I’m single.
Singleness just means my life looks different, not less.
Peaceful, quiet evenings with a good book.
Staying up late and sleeping in
A small, zippy car. with the windows down and music up
Not having to cook every night
Travel, hiking, exploring, studying, and experiencing new things
All of these are available to me.
I couldn’t be more grateful.
You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I really don’t want you to.
Being single can be hard, but I’m learning to see all the ways it grows me, too.
It’s a major part of my story.
And what do I want my story to tell you?
God is always good.
Though my eyes can’t see,
You are always good, only good.
Looking back, I can see Your fingerprints
Upon my life, always seeking my best.
There were times when Your way would make no sense,
But as You said, You have never left.
You are always good, You are only good;
You are always good to me.
Though my eyes can’t see, help my heart believe
You are always, only good.
-Ron and Shelly Hamilton
This week, I’m thankful for so many things. Together, let’s celebrate every SINGLE blessing!